About the photo above: Newborn Callum Gray sleeps peacefully surrounded by the love of his parents and the memory of his big brother, Elijah, who passed due to FNAIT two years prior. Elijah’s memory is honored with the symbol of the whale.
In January 2025, Briana Gray and her husband welcomed their third child, a healthy baby boy. The joy of bringing Noah home was palpable, but for Briana, each moment of happiness was also a poignant reminder of the heartbreak she experienced years earlier. Just a few years ago, she did not have the beautiful experience of taking home her first child, Elijah, after a devastating loss due to FNAIT (Fetal and Neonatal Alloimmune Thrombocytopenia) that changed her life forever.
Briana’s journey into motherhood began in a whirlwind. She married her husband during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, and after just two years of marriage, they began planning their family. Like many newlywed couples, they anticipated the usual ups and downs of starting a family, but nothing could have prepared them for the profound grief they would soon face.
The Unthinkable Loss of Baby Elijah
Briana’s first pregnancy seemed normal at first. No complications, no screenings that raised alarms—everything seemed perfect. However, weeks before her maternity leave began, she went into labor at 35 weeks and 5 days, unexpectedly. Her labor progressed rapidly, and she ultimately had to undergo a C-section. Baby Elijah was born with some purple bruising on his back, arm, and face, but he appeared to be breathing on his own, with good vitals.
Quickly, the joy of holding her newborn turned to fear. Elijah’s pupils were unequal, and he began having seizures. Briana and Elijah were immediately transferred to UC Davis Medical Center, known for its expert care in high-risk pregnancies and neonatal care. At UC Davis, the team of highly trained specialists, renowned for their work in treating complex conditions, informed Briana that they could not perform an MRI until Elijah stopped seizing, which took two long days. The answers were still not clear, and baby Elijah’s condition worsened.
After exhausting all possible options, it became clear that Elijah’s quality of life would not improve. He would not breathe on his own, and there was no hope for him to live a healthy life. Briana and her husband made the heart-wrenching decision to say goodbye to their precious son. Elijah’s life was short, but he mattered—his memory would always be a part of Briana’s heart. “Elijah did exist. He is my child, and his memory deserves to be honored,” Briana reflects. “When you cross over into the world of infant loss, you’re on a different team. You realize you’re not alone, even though it feels like no one understands.”
More than a month later, blood tests finally revealed a devastating diagnosis: both Briana and her husband carried a mismatched platelet antigen, leading to a rare condition known as FNAIT (Fetal and Neonatal Alloimmune Thrombocytopenia). This disorder causes a dangerously low platelet count in the fetus, impairing blood clotting and resulting in severe bleeding. Tragically, Elijah had suffered a significant brain bleed, which contributed to his untimely loss.
Moving Forward: The Birth of Callum
In the wake of Elijah’s passing, Briana and her husband were determined to continue growing their family. They knew the path ahead wouldn’t be easy, but with the unwavering support of family, friends, and medical professionals, they found the strength to move forward. When Briana became pregnant with Callum, the medical team was fully prepared. She received extensive care throughout her pregnancy, including crucial intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG) infusions twice a week to prevent her body from producing antibodies that could attack the baby’s platelets.
The treatment worked, and on February 17, 2023, Callum was born healthy, free from the complications that had caused Elijah’s heartbreaking loss. The journey wasn’t easy. Briana faced deep fear and anxiety throughout her pregnancy, particularly during ultrasounds, which no longer felt like joyful occasions. She recalls feeling terrified, not knowing if this pregnancy would result in another heartbreak. “I couldn’t breathe during those ultrasounds. I was constantly worried—what if I lose this baby, too?”
Despite those fears, the experience of having trauma-informed care at UC Davis helped Briana navigate this challenging time. “The clinicians at UC Davis really understand what it means to care for someone who has experienced loss. They provided me with the space and understanding I needed to process everything.” Working with the medical team at UC Davis was a crucial part of Briana’s experience.
During her pregnancy with Callum, Briana was deeply involved in her own care. She felt empowered, knowing that the clinicians were learning alongside her and that her voice was heard. “The experience at UC Davis was amazing,” she says. “Dr. Veronique Tache and Dr. Krishna Singh were incredible, and I truly felt I was in the best hands possible. I was educated every step of the way, and it made me feel more confident and less afraid.”
Preparing for Noah
In early 2025, Briana and her husband were expecting their third child, due January 13. They wanted Callum, to have a sibling—someone to grow up with, to share memories with. This time, their approach to pregnancy was guided by everything they had learned in their previous experiences. Briana received treatment to prevent the formation of antibodies, including IVIG therapy early on. She also took oral steroids throughout her pregnancy, and by the time she reached 37 weeks, a scheduled C-section was arranged to ensure the safest delivery for her baby.
Briana was overjoyed when she was finally able to bring her baby, Noah, home. But in an unexpected twist, during her pregnancy, Briana discovered that she had low platelets herself—not her baby. Despite this new challenge, Noah was born healthy, and Briana had the deeply cherished experience of bringing her baby home. It was a moment of joy, relief, and profound gratitude, marking a new chapter in her journey.
Advocacy and Reflection
Looking back, Briana has gained invaluable insight into the importance of grief and loss. As a nurse herself, she understands the importance of providing a listening ear to patients in distress, and as a patient, she learned just how crucial it is to be heard. “In the hospital or at a doctor’s appointment, you’re in a vulnerable state,” she reflects. “You’re overwhelmed with information, and sometimes you just need someone to listen and give you time to process.”
Briana also advocates for education on how to support those dealing with infant loss. “It’s so important to understand the impact of grief, especially when it comes to pregnancy loss,” she says. “As a nurse, it’s vital to provide compassionate care to those going through these difficult experiences. As a patient, I want to be heard, understood, and supported in my grief.” Today, Briana is embracing her new chapter as a mother of three, forever changed by the loss of Elijah but also filled with gratitude for her living children.
“My journey has been about learning to live with grief while still finding joy. My children, both the ones I’ve held and the ones I’ve lost, are part of me. I honor Elijah’s memory while being grateful for Callum and Noah,” she says. “My story is one of hope, resilience, and the unwavering belief that even after loss, there can be new beginnings.”
Briana’s story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the power of support and education. Though her journey as a mother has been anything but easy, she remains a beacon of hope for others facing similar challenges, proving that with the right care, empathy, and advocacy, it’s possible to find light even in the darkest moments.
